Thursday, October 25, 2012

Shhh, The Little Boy Sleeps

I was a little boy in a man's body. Looking back on my past I can see the little boy, Rodney, that I would refer back to when things got tough as an adult. The little boy inside me would run and hide when opposed. Due to some pretty traumatic stuff in my life from men, the little boy would isolate from others, especially men. I would even lash out as a defense, even throw a tantrum to those threatening or challenging me. I had no real relationships with anyone. I kept everyone at a distance to try and protect myself. What I love about CR is it teaches me how to respond to life's problems as a man and no longer the little boy I was for so long.  There is an old proverb that says, “Don't tell any more fairy tales when the child has gone to sleep." For many years I lived life as that little boy listening to the enemies fairy tale lies and even took it into my marriage. I had unresolved stuff that I had not dealt with, keeping me handcuffed emotionally to a 9 year old boy. I am so glad God gave me the courage to face that junk & that the little boy is no longer. I still have temptations to go back to that emotional level when things get tough, but I am learning that it is much better to run to God. The little boy says, "hide, run and it will go away." Christ says, "Come to me and I will lead you thru it" Thru CR I learn that I don't have to live in my past as that little boy wronged in so many ways. The enemy tries to convince me that it's better to stay there but God says, it is for that little boy's wounds that He sent His Son to die for me. His blood, grace, mercy, & love, gives me the strength to face my past so that I can become the man He desires. His power gives me the strength to face not only yesterday's junk but today's & tomorrow's as well. It is for your wounds of yesterday, today and tomorrow too, that He sent His Son to die. It is so much better to face that past and grow. He has big plans for you but we have to get out of the play pen of dysfunction first. Dealing with our past leads us that direction. “He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, & by his wounds we are healed." Isa 53:5 Today, the little boy sleeps, and the renewed man is awake and alive more than ever thanks to my Father. Rodney Holmstrom

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