Showing posts from March, 2010

Sound of Silence

Do you ever just get tired of hearing all the noise? If you go somewhere to eat, there are televisions stationed in different areas or some type of music playing plus the noise of all the people talking and laughing. Some stores have loud and obnoxious music playing. My grand daughter loves it. We happened to be in a store one time that was playing that loud and obnoxious music. My grand daughter started dancing and she said, “ come on MeMe, dance.“ There was a couple behind me who heard what she had said, and they said, “ yeah MeMe, dance.” What they did not realize was, I could hardly wait to get out of there. Ecclesiastes 4:6 --better one handful of tranquility -- yeah!!
That thought came to my mind in a strange way just last week. Psalm 46:10 -- Be still and know that I am God. I was at work and we were getting ready to get together for a conference call to explain a new program that was being implemented in our office. My lips were extremely dry and I took a few min…

In the fox hole

Re:Frame Briefing for March 24, 2010
3 Questions to Ask Yourself Today
From Bob Maddocks in Rogers, Arkansas
My favorite Bible Story is from Luke. This is the story of when Jesus was teaching in a man's house and the entire house is full of people, so full that no one else can get inside. A paralytic outside desperately wants to be healed, so somehow 4 other guys are convinced to pick him up and carry him to the house. I find this part of the story interesting since my mental image of a paralytic is someone who probably leads an isolated life. When they arrive at the house, there is no way to get in, the house is full. So they climb up on the roof, somehow remove part of the roof w/o falling in; then lowering the man down w/o dropping him from 8 feet up. When Jesus saw their faith - he says - "Friend you sins are forgiven"
I often ask myself 3 questions,
• If I am the guy on the mat – do I know 4 guys who would carry me?
• If one of my brothers ask for help – am I willing…

Oh my aching pride

Have you ever at one point in your life, ever have an “aha moment?” An “aha moment” is a certain time something is made very clear to you. It could be something that you have been thinking about and did not understand or it could be something new that just became a reality. Ask, Seek, Knock--Matt. 7:7. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I just don’t get it. There is that something- something not right, but I can’t put my finger on it. If I knew what it was I could take care of it -I just didn’t get it.
Pride-- have you ever experienced it? It has many ways of disguising itself. Me, prideful? I just couldn’t see it in me. Pride-one of the seven deadly sins, selfish, leads to downfalls, judgment, looking down on others, selfish with what we have, and forcing our solutions on other’s problems? When God presents you with something like that, what do you do? Look up all the verses you can on pride to get a clear picture of it? Pride leads to shame, it starts argument…

What does an effective Dad look like?

10 Commandments for Effective Fathers
Based on Ephesians 6:4

1. Spend time with your children

2. Let your children know often that you love them just the way they are

3. Discipline your children when they need it

4. Pray with and for your children, regularly

5. Always be honest with your children

6. Love your children’s mother

7. Take time to listen to your children

8. Encourage your children often

9. Celebrate your children’s achievements

10. be flexible with your children

Why have Small Group Guidelines??????

Group Guidelines and Why's

Guideline #1: Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Please limit your sharing to 3-5 minutes.
Definition of Focusing on Others: Concentrating on others needs and problems. Analyzing their motives and behavior. Asking questions of others. Telling stories about what he/she did.
Negative Results: Helps us avoid our own issues. Makes us observers, not participants. Puts a safe (and lonely) distance between ourselves and others.
Goal: To help us focus on our self and where we are in our own recovery. Keeps us out of Denial. Use I or me statements in sharing. Not You, them or we.
Guideline #2: There is no cross talk please:
Definition: When two people engage in a conversation while someone is speaking. Other examples: laughing when someone shares, talking about someone else’s sharing within your time. Or giving a tissue box or embracing someone in the meeting during share time. (Tears are a part of the healing process). Interrupt…

Every Day is a Gift

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
-The Dalai Lama
What does "True Abundance" mean to you?
According to Wikipedia, the definition of abundance is "the opposite of scarcity." I believe true abundance is not measured by what you have; rather, it is measured by what you give.
In our culture, it seems that most people are caught up in their "need for greed." Perhaps this is why so many people struggle to find their happiness, and why over 25% of the people in our country suffer from anxiety. We live in a culture where we are taught to judge a person based on what they have, rather than on who they are and what they contribute to society.
I was very fortunate to have met a professor that changed my whole way of thinking. I was one of those people with a, "What's in it for me" attitude when I started his class. By the end of the semester though, my philosophy and my attitude ha…

Laughter is the best medicine

“Laughter” -- the audible expression of the appearance of happiness , an inward feeling of joy or humor. I don’t know about you, but I love to laugh. I am one of these people that when I find something humorous and I start to laugh I can’t stop. I have been made to sit out in the hall in a college class because of something I saw another classmate do in an Anatomy and Physiology Lab I took, and yes, to my shame, some places where laughter would not be appropriate. Not laughing at the situation, but at things that just struck me as funny. Don’t judge me -- Sarah laughed and the Lord heard her!
I have two sisters and it never fails that when we get together and go somewhere, it always happens. One thing that comes to mind is, going to Branson to see the Christmas lights at Silver Dollar City. While browsing in a gift shop, there were some strange looking fur covered cats. Don’t ask me why I thought they were so funny, but I started laughing. My sister came over, got a …

Purity before marriage

As a man I will guard her purity before marriage by...
1. Living an authentic Christian life in all my
relationships, rather than just to impress her.
2. Learning all I can about her life, rather than just
enough to get what I want.
3. Treating her like a sister or daughter, not a wife.
4. Standing between her virtue and all outside threats.
5. Affirming her character, not her sex appeal.
6. Speaking words of blessing, rather than coercion
and pressure.
7. Recognizing she is under God's protection rather
than my ownership.
8. Spending our time together in public rather than in privacy.
9. Refusing to take advantage of unexpected
10. Serving as her redeemer, not her predator.
11. Doing nothing that would embarrass her if it were known.

The Value of Hopelessness..

I was having a conversation with a CR brother several weeks ago that made a statement that he had read that “recovery doesn’t begin until a person has hit bottom or as some might call it ‘rock-bottom.’” At first I was taken a-back by this, didn’t really want to believe that a person, actually that I would have would to be this desperate for recovery to begin in my life. However, as I sat there and thought this through, I saw the wisdom, especially as I looked back at my own recovery.

I began to see that August of 2006 I hit bottom when something significant happened, I lost all hope. I lost all hope that “I” could get myself out of the mess I had made. I lost all hope that “I” could make myself stop my compulsive sexually addicted behaviors. I lost all hope that “I” could make the pain go away. I was hopeless. I recall in that time, that I thought about praying that God would do whatever it takes to get me out of the destructive cycle I had created for myself. I say it that w…

Take it to the Lord in prayer

Hebrews 4:14-16: Now that we know we have Jesus the Great High Priest, with ready access to God -- let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We do not have a priest who is out of touch with reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all --all but sin. So let’s walk right up to Him and get what He is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. ( The Message )
When the big things happen in our life, like death, disaster, disease touch your life it seems like it is easier to take these things to God and depend upon Him and to know that He is with us and will never forsake or leave us. What about the smaller things that happen in your life -- the things that you think are to small to take to God? A lost dog, a flat tire, grouchy bosses, small fights, toothaches, a dented fender, just the simple things of life. Really -- do you think these things matter to God? Listen, He has a whole universe to run. He has stars to take care of, planets to main…

Why do we introduce ourselves?

One of the things that might confuse a newcomer coming into this great ministry is the way we introduce our self and do so every time we meet in a Step Group and/or Open discussion group. The question that often comes up is; “Why in the world would we have to introduce our self every time we come together? I mean, we all know each other don’t we? We all know what the other is struggling with right? So why should I have to state my main issue I am dealing with?
These are all logical questions and I think the below content from Tina at Saddleback might help shed some light on this.
As you may already know, in our small groups we ask our Leaders to introduce themselves with this statement: “Hi my name is _______; I am a believer who struggles with________.” We ask our leaders to keep it short; to stick to one or two primary areas of recovery. We ask them not to state a host of recovery issues and character defects, etc… especially because we do not run recovery specific groups for char…


I was recently watching our small grandson play his Nintendo game. He had received a new game and had not yet mastered the techniques of playing it yet. I watched as he would start the game and then would lose. He kept trying and trying. I went over and sat down beside him and asked him how he was doing. He said, “ Meme- you can’t get the skills if you don’t do the drills.” There actually was a lot of wisdom in that little statement. Are we that determined? It made me think--how many times I would have rather given up lately instead of keep on trying. What happens when you get frustrated? What happens when you try so hard to be good and stay on the right path, yet you seem to stumble and lose heart--ask yourself what is the use? What about when you see yourself making the same mistakes over and over again? I think being determined is the ability to make a difficult decision and accomplish what needs to be accomplished regardless of the resistance that you may encounter. I…