Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Subtle Faces of Pride in marriage

Our most dangerous problem in marriage we may not even see. Pride is the underlying cause of all marriage problems -- big and small. Its easy to see our spouse's shortcomings and be blind to our own.

One test of spiritual pride is how little mercy we show our spouse. Pride devalues our marriage and makes us feel entitled to more. Pride is the equivalent of despising God and His Word.

To defeat pride:
1. We must humble ourselves before God and our spouse.
2. We need to ask God to show us the true condition of our heart.
3. We need to ask Christ to empty our heart of all but love.

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus...He humbled Himself." Philippians 2:5, 8

From Marriage Minutes
Bob and Cheryl Moeller
Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rodney Holmstrom, CR FBC NW Arkansas
Ministry Leader
State Representative NW Arkansas

Monday, May 17, 2010

Optimistic or Pessimistic

How do you view the things in your life? With optimism or pessimism? Is your glass half full or half empty? When something happens to you, do you immediately look for the good or are the first words that come out of your mouth, “ I knew if anything would go wrong it would happen to me.” When your thoughts are controlled by a negative pessimistic view point it is hard to see the good in any situation. You imagine the worst possible outcome in everything and hold it as an expectation. There is evidence to support your belief that things will go wrong, because you are choosing to think they will. Where is your hope and where does your joy come from? Words that come to my mind are, bleak, gloomy, cynical, hopeless and downhearted. Feelings may be, “ what is the use, nothing good never happens anyway, or what next?” Hebrews 10:35 -- Therefore do not cast away your confidence which is your great reward.” Being pessimistic is counter productive to a faith filled life. It is like a beautiful garden whose beauty cannot be seen because the gardener did not tend to all the weeds that have grown up around the beautiful flowers. The only thing that you will be able to see are the weeds.
Hebrews 12:1 reminds us that in order to run a good race, we must leave behind all the things that hinder us from running a good race. Optimism is a learned attitude of faith. It is truly believing that God works all things together for good. When you are pessimistic what do you say to yourself? Do you ever just take a few minutes to ask yourself why you are thinking or feeling that way? Do you think the worst is going to happen no matter what-not even being sure what is going to happen? What happened to thinking the best? Even if the situation did not happen to have the best outcome, you still could land up with something good from that situation. “ How are you going to know unless your try?” Think about the most hilarious outlandish outcome that you can think of. I know this sounds a little silly -- but isn’t that what you are doing when you are being pessimistic? Ask yourself, “ why do I believe that, why do I think that?” Having pessimistic thoughts lead to doubts that will eventually become truth to you. This is horrible disservice to yourself.
Prove it to yourself. Everything begins in the mind. Focusing on the negative is counter productive. Soon the negative is all you will be able to see. Learn to look for a silver lining in the dark clouds. Expect God to bring good out of a bad situation. Choose to be optimistic. Have eyes of faith. See every stumbling block as a stepping stone. Come before God and ask Him to wash the windows of your soul -- to cleanse all the pessimism, replacing all the negative defeating thoughts with positive affirmations of faith and hope. Stop looking for what you want to look for and seeing what you want to see -- learn to look in optimism and in faith. Look at the doughnut instead of the hole. Compare what you are thinking to God’s word -- does it line up with what God says. Ask yourself why you are thinking the way you are thinking. For every negative thought counter act it with a positive thought. Remember if you do something for 21 days, will become a habit. Then enjoy your doughnut and your half cup of coffee.
Father: Life is never really smooth-it has it’s ups and it’s downs. We love the up times but we hate the down times. Sometimes after so many difficulties and disappointments, it is hard to believe for the best. We become cynical and jaded in our thinking and lose sight of the fact that you work all things together for our good. Wash the windows of our heart - give us eyes of faith in the down times. Amen.
This week if you have negative thoughts, think of a positive thought to counteract the negative thought and then thank God who loves you. Have a blessed week.
Janice CR FBC NW Arkansas Encourager Coach-Team

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Why You Need Jesus in your Marriage

Why You Need Jesus in your Marriage

The biggest mistake a couple can make is to do marriage without Jesus.

Why is it important Jesus Christ be at the center of your marriage each day?

1. Your ability to forgive will eventually wear out.
2. Your willingness to show patience will reach its limit.
3. Your desire to live unselfishly will come to an end.
4. Your strength to resist temptation will finally be overwhelmed.
5. Your capacity to show love will eventually go no further.
6. Your power will come from a small flashlight, when it could be coming from a Resouce the size of the universe.

From
"Marriage Minutes"
Bob and Cheryl Moeller
Thursday, May 13, 2010


CR at Fellowship Bible Church in Rogers Arkansas.
Contact us at: http://celebraterecovery.fellowshipnwa.org/
Rodney Holmstrom

Monday, May 10, 2010

Irritated?

Have you ever got into poison ivy? I found out that there are more than one type of poison ivy and it grows year round. It climbs, creeps, grows on bushes, and it even grows at the beach. When you get into a mess of poison ivy it can be one of the most irritating things. It can burn and sting, and the itch is unbearable. It can ooze and spread -- which is so irritating. Can you think back on times where you were just so irritated? Irritated by events in your life, other people, with yourself or things just not being fair? How did you deal with that feeling of irritation?
It usually starts out as something small -- you may have taken issue with something that was said to you. Maybe you over thought something, felt misunderstood, a little annoyed, frustrated and impatient because things are not going your way. Maybe you have allowed someone to make you feel badly about yourself. That is where it begins. It is what you do with that irritated state of mind that will cause it to fester or to calm. Sometimes, do you lose sight that life at times can be irritating. The Bible has not given me a scripture that said life would not be irritating sometimes. So what do you do when you begin to allow things to fester in your mind? Our thoughts are the very root of every word and deed. Do you think about the sinister things that you could do to get back at someone? What about saying ugly things about a person or situation? Have you ever looked into a mirror and looked at the expression on your face? What about your words, are they hateful, unkind, condescending? Are you being open and honest with God about what the underlying cause of the irritation could be? Do you just stomp around wanting every one to know that you are irritated, hoping that they will ask so you can just say what you feel? If you find yourself becoming irritable, sit down, do some self examination to get to the real reason that you are irritated. Are you tired? Are you prayed up and have you been reading God’s word? Have you been spending time with Him? When you find that little bit of irritation trying to bubble up within you, do you take your thoughts captive to the Lord. Are you being intentional in pursuing righteousness in every area of your life -- even when experiencing life’s “little irritations?” Phil. 4:8 -- think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. If you do this, your irritated heart will begin to reflect these things. Are you expecting God to bring good out of a bad situation? Are you asking Him to cleanse your thoughts? Each irritation in your life could become a stepping stone. Don’t just look for what you want to look for or see just what you want to see. Maybe instead of staying irritated you will learn to look at these irritations with optimism and faith instead of negativity. God is always a gentleman -- He gives us freedom of choice, and help if we are willing to ask for it. If you find yourself becoming irritated this week, don’t let it fester and grow, let the balm of the Most High God be your covering and protection. Take your thoughts and irritations to Him. Do a little self examination. Concentrate on what is pure, lovely, just kind, gracious, virtuous and excellent. Then go look in the mirror -- what do you see?
Father: we get so caught up with such pitiful things that seem to just irritate us. Most of the time it is all about us and the way we think we should be treated or the way we are treated. Sometimes it is because we want to control and we don’t get it. Sometimes it is because we let our emotions over ride what does not matter. Forgive us when we react out of our irritability. Help us to take our thoughts captive to you, and before acting out in our irritable times, we think about the things that are pure, lovely, just, kind, gracious, virtuous and most excellent.
Learn to keep your soul calm and quiet. Ps.131:2. Have a blessed week, Janice - Encourager Coach CR NWA Fellowship-Team

Monday, May 3, 2010

How is your marriage?

Love Should be the Last Thing Standing in Our Lives


When the great Chicago fire of 1871 swept through the city it annihilated everything in its path. More than 18,000 buildings were destroyed. One hundred thousand people were left homeless. A four square mile of area of downtown Chicago was in ashes. Saddest of all, at least 1,000 people perished in the inferno.
A few days after the firestorm subsided, an intriguing picture was published in the newspapers. In the midst of the four square mile area of devastation, one lone house stood untouched by the blaze. It had survived the nation's worst fire of the century.

Christ's love is much like that lone house. When the firestorm of family problems, financial setbacks, job loss, even disease and death has swept through your marriage, love will still stand. That indestructible love survived the whip of roman soldiers, the taunting of the crowd, and the painful cross of Calvary, and that love emerged triumphant from the tomb on Easter morning.

No one can promise you that your lives will be spared flames and heat. But God does promise that when the smoke and ashes clear, His love will still be standing. And so will you.

"Love never fails." I Corinthians 13:8

Remember, marriage is for better for worse for keeps.
From Bob and Cheryl Moeller "Marriage Minutes"

Who wants to suffer?

It seems like this week, everyone has experienced sorrow and suffering of some kind. It has been interesting to hear some of their stories and how they have dealt with their suffering.
I Corn. 1:3-4: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforted us in all our troubles, so we can comfort those in trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. How do you view suffering? One thing I know, sorrow and suffering go together. Distress, pain, unhappiness, affliction, displeasure, are just a few. I know that a little suffering is good for the soul, but somebody is trying to make a saint out of me. (Just kidding).
God knows and sees our sufferings. Sometimes our suffering is self inflicted, or caused by others, or comes to us through disease or other circumstances. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to suffer. I want to be comfortable--I want things to go smooth and to be easy. That would be possible if we lived in a perfect world. God wants us to live above our suffering. One of our Teaching Pastors once said, “ God is more interested in our character than our comfort. We have two choices, we can choose to live through it, or we can allow ourselves to be swallowed up by it. I am brought back to realistic thinking--how comfortable and free from suffering was Jesus in the world? He did not have a very comfortable life, He was out in the wilderness, had no home to call his own, he faced deep suffering and humiliation. He had to bear our sin. My suffering seems quite trivial to His. I Peter 5:10--after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. James 5:10-11 and Romans 5:3-4: we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces, perseverance, character and hope. Where do you find yourself when going through times of suffering? Do you enjoy being in the victim mode and all the attention that you think that it is getting you? Is giving up your suffering like giving up you personality? Have you held on to the things that you have suffered for so you can’t seem to get rid of them? How long do you want to stay in a state of suffering?
Everyone, at one time will experience suffering. Jesus experienced the worst suffering one could endure. Through His experience, He knows how to help us and comfort us. II Corn. 1:3-4: God is the Father of compassion and all comfort--He shares in our sufferings and He shares in our comforts. Sometimes our suffering is a training ground. Sometimes it is to reveal the power and the glory of God as it shines through certain individuals as they show their faith and dependence on the Most High God during their suffering. If you are going through a time of suffering, God has not abandoned you. Your suffering will not last forever. God is with us and watching over us. He knows how to get us through these times of suffering. In the book, “ Hinds Feet on High Places” the character, Much Afraid, had to take the hands of her companions Sorrow and Suffering to get to the High Places. Take the hands of the Good Shepherd and go to the High Places. Sorrow may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.
Father: You do not leave us comfortless. Sometimes You do however let us get to the point where we have to learn that your presence and sufficiency is the exact thing that we need when going through difficult times. Teach us to look to You and not ourselves in these times. Teach us to graciously receive from Your hand to know that You are faithful in the good times and faithful in the times of suffering. Amen.
Do not wait until you are in dire need of comfort in your suffering to know the sufficiency of God in your sufferings. Have a blessed week.
Janice Encourager Coach-Team
Fellowship Bible NWA CR