God is moving in CR

Have you seen these photos on Facebook that ask you to do something? I saw one that had sharks in a lobby and it said, "click on photo, hit like, type the number 2, then watch what happens" Guess what? Nothing happened. DOH! What is remarkable it to see the several other thousand people that did the same thing. Isn't that so much like what the enemy does with you and so in our life? We are given empty promises of hope and satisfaction only to be disappointed with nothing but emptiness. So often I would look for happiness is so many things thinking, "this is it! This is the thing that will bring me happiness. A new car, new clothes, house, even a relationship." Yeah for a while that thirst will be satisfied but in the end apart from Christ, the result is emptiness. I love how Rick Warren puts it, “What happens outwardly in your life is not as important as what happens inside you." Thru CR I have learned even more that true 'happiness' comes from...

Have you ever been in a room full of people at a gathering and still felt overwhelmed with loneliness? Sounds like an oxymoron, but it does happen. I know there were times in my life I was struggling with depression and loneliness, and to be in a room full of people seemed like the loneliest place in the world. "I have become a stranger to my brothers..."Ps 69:8 Isn't it interesting how clever the enemy can be in taking advantage of our unresolved past hurt that ultimately lead us to pulling away from the community we were designed to be around. God did not intend for us to be alone. I have learned thru my own process and life recovery journey that when I am feeling lonely, I must never forget that the Father is always there with me. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."Isaiah 41:10 If you are struggling with loneliness, never forget tha...

"Yes or no?" Remember in grade school when we would pass the note back and forth, "do you like me? Check yes or no" We started early in life with the Yes or No questions didn't we? How about, "would you like fries with that sir?" "Do you want to go ahead and get that filling put in your tooth today?" Life is full of so many choices isn't it? Some of those questions can be much bigger & in fact steer our life down either the right or a disastrous path. Thru the 8 CR principles the Father asks us these questions that if 'Yes' is not our response, it prevents us from moving forward in the healthy path of recovery. The Father asks us some life changing questions: Will you believe and receive Me as your God and stop playing god in your own life? Will you finally believe that you matter to Me? Will you trust that I have the power to help you thru ANY and ALL things? Will you turn your life over to Me? Will you do the necessary ...

I am a pretty big sports fan. Of course my desire is for my team to win the championship every year. Not a very big wish huh? I was thinking this morning, what if when the season started they just automatically said, "Rodney, without even starting the season your team won. They are the new champions of their league." That excitement might last about 3 seconds and then I would be asking questions like, what?! how? They didn't do anything?! Holding the trophy in the end without the journey doesn't quite mean the same does it? You see what makes crossing the finish line sweet is not just to be given the trophy but the understanding and satisfaction of the work that went into the process and journey. We immediately begin thinking of the stories of the process to get where we are. You will hear things like, "we had some rough spots that challenged us, but with God's help we persevered and kept fighting." I am reminded that while I have been given the privil...

So that's it? It's over?! Yesterday we took down our Christmas decorations at our house. As they were coming down I couldn't help but think, wow, as fast as it got here, it was over just as fast. What if when the lights and decorations went down each year, so did our hope. What if with the decor, we just boxed up our hope, love, peace, & joy and shoved them into the attic for another 330 plus days. I am grateful that my relationship with Christ doesn't have to be that way. The celebration of life can & should be a 365 process. I have to make this my choice though. All those lights & decor represented a party being held in honor of the birth of the King. Now, days after the big birthday celebration, we get a chance to live the life that He brought to us as a gift at His own party. I am reminded that the celebration is not just in the birthday party itself, but in how we honor Him with the gifts given to us at the party. Those gifts came to me when I bel...

What did it really look like? We see pictures of Jesus' birth and it always seems to be so clean, neat, and tidy. Joseph and Mary always look so well groomed and perfect.  If you ever been in a labor room at a hospital, you know it is nothing like that at all. Now add on top of that how much worse the conditions were for Mary. Can you imagine what Mary was thinking while in that smelly, urine & manure infested stable? Makes me wonder if she didn't have a slight hint of questioning this. "Really God?! This is all we could arrange as I give birth to the Messiah?!" "How about a clean bed, or a pillow would be wonderful. Not to mention this odor is making me gag. Would it be too much to get some clean sheets!?" :) Or how about Joseph, "no, don't get anything on my tunic...uh, nevermind." lol She & Joseph probably didn't think those things but I bet I probably would have. Who knows what she was thinking. One thing is for sure though, ...

"So what wrong with the car?" said the tow truck driver when he picked me up on the side of the road.  Me, "Well, it seems to be a malfunction of the radiator hose connecting and firing from the exhaust fumes causing the belts to fall of their spools and therefore creating overheating in the engine particles, causing an overflow of the radiator.....us yeah, I have no clue."  Turns out it was the water pump and my father and brother in law knew exactly how to fix that. Grateful to them for doing that. When it comes to cars, I have no clue at all.  God has shown me in my life that it is ok not to have the answers to everything.  Someone once said, “To know what you know and to know what you don't know, that is real wisdom."  God has and is growing me to be ok with reaching out to others that 'do' have the wisdom in areas of my life.  This is one of those disciplines that can be so hard sometimes can't it? If I call my brother in Christ and tell ...

Where were you when God whispered to you? I was thinking about Jacob this morning and how he wrestled so much with God. Jacob was one messed up guy. In fact he was a liar, deceiver, a thief that was wandering thru life with that identity. Imagine how beautiful it was the day Jacob finally quit wrestling with God and accepted Him as his leader. And then, in the quiet, alone time with the loving Father, God reaches down and with great tenderness, strength & love, the Father whispers, "Jacob. Jacob, you're no longer going to be identified as Jacob. I have given you a new name." You can just sense a warm smile from the Father a He continued in sharing this news. Your new name will now be Israel." Wow! What a scene. Well, that probably only happens in the scriptures I guess huh? Actually no. My name used to be shame, guilt, liar, thief, pride, selfish, failure, afraid, fearful, runner, perfectionist, and more. Yeah, I too wrestled with the King, but I am happy to s...

In the film, 'Mr. Holland's Opus'. Mr Holland was describing how Beethoven wrote his classical music pieces. He explained to the class, "Beethoven sawed the legs off his piano so he could lay the body flat on the ground.  Then he would lie down on the ground next to the piano with his ear pressed to the floor. He would pound the keys with his fingers in order to hear his music thru the vibrations of the music thru the floor."  The student then replied, "Mr Holland, if he couldn't hear, how would he even know what the notes were? Like, if he never heard a "C", how would he know that's what he wanted to play." Mr. Holland then responds,  "Well, Beethoven wasn't born deaf." Ever have those days where you feel like your pounding out the notes in your life and having trouble hearing Him? Life can be discouraging and disappointing sometimes can't it? Sometimes, like yesterday for me, the enemy can attempt to block out th...

I was driving home the other day and heard a song. Nothing unusual about that, but this particular song happened to be the same song I was listening to the last time I saw my mom conscience in 2009. The tears began to flow and my heart began to ache, missing my mom. The old me was trained to stuff it and don't let anyone know what I was feeling. Sounds crazy but the misery in my past could become its own drug and addiction. Have you ever just felt like staying miserable was a more attractive option? For me, yes, sounds absurd but true. Reminds me of a quote, “Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."  The renewed Rodney was able to go a different direction & share with my wife and bring my pain into the light. The new Rodney was able to run to the Father for strength. I was reminded of Isaiah 61:1-4.  Some key words of hope that jump out for me;  "He binds up the broken hearted, proclaims freedom for the captives, release fr...

"What did you get?" Those are the words we generally hear from one another the day after Christmas. Then we have a blast sharing the surprises and wonderful gifts we were given.  As a kid, I used to get so excited and could hardly wait to get with my friends and tell then what I got. Today, I was just thinking about what an incredible gift I have already been given. I have rich relationships, family, and most of all I am loved by the King. Sitting here this morning I am thankful that the Lord not only likes me but He truly loves me. How? I'm not sure because I am one crazy fella.  Reminds me of a quote from 'A Bug's Life', "You're weird, but I like you."  lol. I am glad the Lord looks past my flaws and loves me for who I am. It has been said that kindness is loving people more than they deserve. That's exactly where you and I sit today. If we replace the word 'kindness' with 'grace', we have much to be thankful for today ...

Have you ever been told by a wise person, "don't do it" and did it anyway? Yeah so have I and I regret it. Some time back me and my family were watching tv and a commercial came on for some kind of medicine. My daughter just started giggling at the end when this man talking 100 miles per hour started rattling off possible side effects. His question was something like, do you have acne problems? Try our medicine.... "Warning! May cause constipation, dizziness, increased sweating, lightheadedness, damage your kidney, liver, heart, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, weakness, driving places you don't remember, bleeding in you ears and loss of your finger nails....and more" Wow! Sign me up!!! (Ok so I threw in a couple extras there. Lol) This got me to thinking about how my choices in life take on a similar path. There are things that on the surface look like something great and worth while, but I fail to listen to the warning at the end of the enemies adver...

The Holidays can bring lots of craziness can't they? This is a time that we may spend more time with family than any other time of the year and with that can bring some conflicts as we are all dysfunctional in many ways. :) I am reminded this morning that peace is NOT the absence of conflict, but rather the presence of Righteousness that is a person in Jesus Christ.  Don't forget to invite Him into your conflicts, stress and anxiety this week as conflict is inevitable in this broken world. I heard someone say this week that if we find ourselves getting annoyed by more and more people around us, it may mean that we have less and less of Him in our daily routine. "I pray the Lord, who gives peace, will always bless you with peace. May the Lord be with all of you too." 1 Thes. 3:16   Have a great day! Rodney Holmstrom

Waking up this morning preparing for a morning of Christmas worship at Fellowship. Thinking about how much I was reminded of the hope we have in Christ as our Savior in being a part of last night's services. I cling to the hope I have in Christ. While talking about hope, someone once said "Sometimes that's all you have when you have nothing else. If you have it, you have everything.” Are you feeling hopeless these days? Have you lost sight of what has been given to us? Have you forgotten that The Father desires to lead you thru your valley and struggles. You don't have to do this alone. Author Bryant Wright in his book "Right from the Heart" wrote, “If you choose to trust God, He can bring good out of the darkest, most dismal of circumstances." I know some of us are struggling thru these holiday's and so I just want to speak to you right now. Please hear me carefully, You. Are. Loved. by. the. King! The Great I Am! Never forget that. Keep your e...

Hurt people, hurt people. We hear this in our life. We experience it in painful ways. Sometimes we even see it happen to others and it breaks our heart. The Conn. shootings are a grotesque display of true evil that brings such heartbreak and pain to so many. I got home last night around 11pm and for the first time began watching the coverage of this and my mind just could not comprehend such evil. Such heartbreak for these families. Such a blow to the community of family, neighbors, friends & teachers. How do we deal with this kind of deep pain? How do we see any kind of hope in a tragedy such as this? There is an old proverb that reads, "However long the moon disappears, someday it must shine again."  The thought that entered my mind was how anyone could endure this kind of pain apart from Christ. As you and I face hurt done to us by other hurting people in a very dark world, Jesus Christ is our only source of comfort and light to show us thru such pain. I am remind...

I recently asked my leaders to be on the look out for our guest of honor coming (first time visitor) tonight to CR. I asked them the next night, "What did they say?" Here is what one of my leaders sent back with their permission for me to share: "April 2006...I was that newcomer and all those statements ring true for me!  I cried the entire service and thought I was the most 'insano' person there.  I was realizing I didn't have the power to pull myself up by my bootstraps out of depression and rampant OCD.  I was filled with fear.  The thought of entrusting myself to someone else was terrifying to me cause I was so afraid the emotional abandonment I'd felt from my parents would come back upon me.  I'd tried to convince myself I didn't need anyone else...I was self-sufficient.   Now my exhausting perfectionism and drivenness had caught up with me when I realized nothing I was so feverishly doing was actually changing my family and my circumstance...

"I just don't have time for this. I really think I am fine. I have a lot going on in my life right now. I just couldn't commit to something so big right now. At least I'm not as bad as those other guys. I'm just too tired. I work a lot of hours." Have you ever gotten caught up in the web of excuses, justifying the continuation of your current path. I know I have and it can really get in the way of my progress in my life. Someone once said, I believe George Washington Carver, “Ninety-nine percent of the failures comes from people who have the habit of making excuses." Excuses are the enemies way of keeping us stuck where we are, all the while laughing at us cause he has me right where he wants us.  One of the things that one of my mentors, Mickey Rapier said to me years ago was that if the devil doesn't make you bad, he will make you busy. This is so true. Sometimes in my life I am a pro at filling up my schedule and then it makes me feel better abou...

I was watching, "Santa Claus is Coming To Town." last night, yeah, I know, I am a sucker for those old childhood classics. One of the scenes in the show has a young Kris Kringle talking with some young kids at a washing station where they were cleaning socks. As Kris approached him he asked them what they were doing. Their response, "we are washing socks....we are judged based on how much work we get done and how clean our socks are." hmm So often in my life I believed that this is how life was. As long as I worked hard at being good, acted right and did good things in a "perfect" way then I was ok and was on the right track. Today I know that that is the wrong thinking. This is what got the Pharisees in trouble.  Have you ever been those kids at the well? Trying so hard to fit in while attempting to scrub our stains and junk from the past away on our own? I sure have and it was exhausting. Today I am grateful that I now understand that I am imperfect ...

My husband and I were running just a tad late to worship the other morning. Not so late that we would miss the message or even most of the singing. We walked in during the announcements. I prefer getting there before kickoff but hey, it was be a tad late or not go at all. Basically, I’m trying to paint the picture that most everyone was already settled in their seats and engaged when we tried to enter in an unobtrusive way. Our intent was not to disturb anyone. We scooted past the man on the end of the row and sat in the two seats next to him. On my left was my husband; on my right was another couple. I did my best to slip in and settle without distracting the woman I was seated next to. I didn’t even wear any fragranced body care products. I’ve been the one who has had to breathe in someone else’s favorite scent and wound up either coughing through worship or sneezing way my through. So bottom line, I thought I was being the epitome of subtle as much as I was able to be under the c...

Multiplication! That was the word that jumped out in a big way last night at a dinner I was attending. Last night I met some men for dinner and fellowship as we celebrated the 'completion' of a CR step group and the 'beginning' of the rest of their life. What an incredible blessing it was to hear these men talk about where they were a year ago and where they sit now. I saw a picture of many men that were now grounded in Christ, leading their families, and living in freedom from a host of things that kept them apart from our Creator. In this CR group, they found truth, accountability, & relationship unlike anything they had ever experienced. But the most exciting thing for me to see was a desire for multiplication.  Three new men's CR step groups will be starting for men coming out of this one group. Wow!!! These men caught the vision. Yes we must heal and grow from our hurts, but if we are not multiplying ourselves, are we really following Christ's plan fo...

I can remember when I was younger I worked for my music teacher, Mr Taylor, around his rental properties. He would often give me jobs with yard work, painting, cleaning etc. One of the things I despise is painting. Especially when painting over a wall that is similar in color but different enough that you can see the difference in coloring.  Sometimes Mr, Taylor would come thru to check my work and notice that it hadn't been completed quite the way it should be. I seemed to always look for short cuts.  He would graciously ask, "do you see those spots and steaks there Rodney?" After a while of acting like they weren't there, I would eventually give in and finish the job. My life can be like this in some ways. For a long time I knew the stains were there, but just couldn't bring myself to acknowledge them. The Lord, in His gracious way would say, "Rodney, do you see those stains in your life?" When I finally did admit they were there, I could just see m...

Often during this time of year we can see some increased levels of stress. I know in my life if I don't deal with this stress in a healthy way, it can lead to unhealthy choices, poor reactions, and even isolation from those things that keep me on track. Our language can become, "I hate the holidays! I am just ready for this to be over!" But, what if we changed our attitude and thinking on this? What if we said, "Lord, these Holidays are tough & stressful but I want to use this hurt for Your glory." I was challenging some friends recently with using the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5 as an action plan.  Could it be our plan these next few weeks to look at growing & strengthening our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control as we face the challenges before us? What if we looked at these tough holidays as an opportunity to grow in the Lord. As you know though, we can't do this alone. Make sure we ar...

Call me silly but one of my favorites is the movie "Tommy Boy". Don't judge me...:) Of course there are many funny and silly scenes, but a scene that you might not think of, that has good meaning, is the scene where Tommy is sitting in his sail boat with no wind. Then he says, "hey dad, I sure could use some help down here. Could you give me a little wind to get my boat moving? And of course, the wind picked up and his sail boat begins moving with breeze. How often have I asked that question from the Father, "Lord, how about a little help" and still felt like I wasn't moving anywhere.  Looking back on my life I have noticed that the problem was that I was trying to sail thru life with ripped sails. No wonder my life seemed to be at a stand still. No wonder I felt so lifeless. Isn't it interesting how we can convince ourself that our "rips" in our sails aren't that bad? And yet, still scratch our head wondering why the sail won't ...

Words that are oxygen to my soul: "I was struggling in hopelessness but now have hope." "God is changing me." "I could not have made it thru this storm without Christ & the tools of CR." "I have a new family for life now." "I feel like I can be the real me when I walk thru those doors of CR." "I have learned so much about myself, and for the first time I like what I see." "I am now the spouse I know I was called to be." "My relationship with my kids is now growing healthy!"  "I was so desperate and at the end of my rope, but God threw me a lifeline thru CR....and I finally grabbed it!" There is nothing sweeter than seeing life change up close and personal. None of us are "fixed" but one thing is for sure, growth & change is possible and is happening in so many lives. He has brought me out of the junk and taught me some incredible lessons thru those hurts. It has been said, “You...

I was walking out to my truck last night to leave the office and there it was. I saw a sky that looked like a painting of brilliant colors. I was struck to stand there and just take it in. What an amazingly creative God we serve. Thinking this morning how easy it is to overlook His beauty in those things around me. Reminded this morning that it is important to slow down to stop and "live" in the moment. Reminds me of the quote someone said, "Life isn't measured by the breathes we take but the moments that take our breath away.” What takes your breath away? A few for me; hearing my kids laugh, seeing my family pray, sing and laugh together, listening to brothers and sisters share victories in their life.  Listening to our CR congregation sing songs of worship from their heart. Or how about that moment when you see the turning point in a friend that leads them to finally take action toward healing and freedom in their life. I am grateful for a changed heart this mor...

Have you ever had a friend that has relapsed or fallen off the cliff so hard that it feels like a piece of you went with them? If you have been around long enough, the answer is probably yes. I think of the old proverb, "When you shoot a zebra in the black stripe, the white dies too; shoot it in the white and the black dies too." Many of us have had friends die spiritually or even physically in recovery and that is so hard isn't it? One of the things that was the hardest adjustment for me early on in this process was establishing a balance between being "involved" in someone's recovery vs. "living" their recovery. Sometimes we have close friends and family we care about in our life fall, end up in prison, run from their family or faith, make choices that destroy their life, even die due to their addictions or choices.  Truth be told, we are effected by this cause we are human and can't help that. I have learned that all I can do is make myself...

Ever had those moments you wish you could take back? I can remember years ago when my daughter was pretty young, one day I was working in my office at home. My daughter came in to show me something. I was trying to work and I snapped at her saying, "Taylor, you know that when dad is working, you are not supposed to interrupt." Immediately I knew I was taking my frustrations out on her and responded in the wrong way. To make matters worse, I noticed she was holding a picture that she had drawn for me. (yeah I know, I am a jerk) :) You know what is so neat about this story though? In years past I would have just sat and thought about how bad a parent I am, not doing anything. Now, in this situation, I am going to her to address the situation and make a much needed amends. I walked into her room and got down to her level and said,"sweetheart, when dad did this, it was not the right thing to talk to you that way. Dad wants to ask for your forgiveness." You know what?...

Last night my wife and daughter went to the store. While in there they overheard a Hispanic mom talking to her child. Taylor has been taking Spanish in school so she knew what she said.  She turned to my wife and said, "hey, I know what that means." Pretty neat that she is learning a new language. Then right after that she passed a couple ladies in the next aisle. They were obviously angry with someone cause they were making it known to everyone thru their conversation. It was one of those vocabulary's that was full of colorful profanity. By the time they passed my wife and daughter, they said, "he is such a *******!"  My daughter, with a straight face turns to my wife and says, "And.....I know what that means too." lol.  I am learning that in life, we will "hear" what others have to say, (sometimes pretty colorful) but that I need "listen" to God. Sometimes you and I will be faced with situations that will force us to make a cho...

There I was, in full uniform feeling good about the last play that I just finished, and BAM! Out of thin air, I was leveled by a very large lineman from the other team. Isn't it funny how we can remember the weirdest things? I do remember that day in High school playing football. The guy was huge and he hit me very hard! I think I am still seeing stars. :) Unfortunately there are things in our life that leave much bigger reminders, wounds and scars aren't there? Sometimes there are stones thrown at us in our life that are thrown right at our heart. It can seem like an impossible thing to heal from cant it? It has been said, “The one who throws the stone forgets; the one who is hit remembers forever.”  I am learning thru CR that some things we will never forget, but that I CAN heal from them. CR taught me that the stone throwers from my past have their own baggage and that my holding onto the pain and stuffing it only hurts me. It does nothing to hurt the stone "thrower...

Have you ever been in a room with someone and no matter how many people that are around, it feels like it is just you and this one special person? Last night I had the privilege of leading worship in CR and wow, what a great treat for me. It was as close to heaven as I think I will see on earth. There was a point I got caught up in the worship & looked up and realized, "wow, there are several hundred people worshiping our Father with me right now. :) But that's the special thing about CR worship isn't? When we come together to worship, we become one unit, one family, one being that is worshiping our King. Everyone is looking at the Savior and it is just each of us and the King.  It is a blessing though when we realize that worshiping corporately is one of the few gifts we can do together, at the very same time. There is something special about seeing hungry people come to a place of dependence and trust, worship our Father. No matter what is going on in our life, w...