God is moving in CR

Often when I mow my grass I end up with a ton of black dirt in my eyes, nose, mouth and ears. My back yard is a weed fest, littered with dirt. I am a scary sight after I get done. But when I wash up afterward, what an amazing feeling. Nothing better than getting clean after a time in the dirt. It's the same way in my recovery. For so long I walked around with my heart stained with blackness. Everything I breathed in, consumed, listened to, and even allowed my eyes to see brought blackness into my life. I was walking blind with no purpose. In the book of John we see a man describing what had happened after his washing from the Father. Someone asked him, "how were your eyes opened"? Then the man said, "(glad you asked!)Jesus put some anointed clay on my eyes and then... told me to 'go wash in the pool'...So I went and washed and I received sight"Jn 9:11 Did you catch that? He was a blind mess and then in obedience, he "went" and then "receiv...

One of the Seven Ways We Get Stuck (lesson 25) is that we go too fast! We try to speed through our recovery and be on to the next thing. We skip over important steps, like sharing our inventory, stepping out of denial, admitting we are powerless. I was reading in Joshua about the time after Moses died when God brought His people into the promise land and there were several verses that made me think about lesson 25. Just as God had parted the Red Sea when He brought them out of Egypt, in order to get to the place God promised them they also had to go through a river, the Jordan. It doesn’t get as much publicity as the Red Sea parting, but God did the same for this next generation of people who weren’t born in Egypt, but who were born in the transition… he spilled the water (during flood season), and they walked across on dry land. After they got to the other side they had specific instructions to be circumcised. They had a literal example of cutting the old ways out of their life ...

Yesterday was one of those days where I felt overwhelmed and like the walls were caving in on me. Ever have one of those days? I was thinking this morning about the time I was young in the ocean with my mom and brother playing in the water. The water was pretty low and I was able to walk out to this little spot of dirt and play. I began walking back to shore the same way I came and realized real quick that the tide had come in and I was not able to walk back. I was not a good swimmer and found myself frozen with incredible fear. I began calling out to my mom on the shore in great panic, saying "mom! I'm scared!!!" Mom quickly came to my rescue just like any mom would. As she talked me thru the process of returning to her loving arms, she just kept saying, "look at me son, keep swimming, it's going to be ok." On a much grander scale the Father does the same thing for me as I face life's storms. When the winds and waves pick up in my life, He is telling me...

Evenings at home were horrific! I was at the kitchen table, doing my math homework with my step dad. I couldn't figure out the math problem I was working on and the harder my step dad tried to explain, the less I understood it. I could feel the tension in his voice as well as my brain locking up the angrier he got. I could see the frustration building into rage that would always end up with him punching me in the face, knocking me to the floor leaving me humiliated. For many years of my life I developed a mistrust toward people but specifically men. I believed all men were like this and so I avoided any kind of close contact with them. Isn't it ugly how the enemy can feed us lies thru our hurt!? The enemy used my past to keep me from blessings. I made a choice to ignore the hurt and not deal with it for so long. This just kept me living as that little boy in a man's body at the kitchen table. The fact is, I need men in my life to sharpen me and for many years was hesitant t...

There is an old saying, "He who is not satisfied with himself will not grow." There is truth to that as I need to be happy in my own skin as God created me. He calls His creation good. However, this also got me to thinking that I don't need to be content with where I am in my growth though. Have you ever been in a great spot with the Lord, feeling like you are in that strike zone with quiet time, reading His word. Better yet, u are applying it to your life. Pretty sweet spot isn't it? But then, like me, have u been guilty of riding those days out in the days to follow without seeking Him in quiet time? Ouch! Yeah I have been guilty too. Not surprising though cause it is easy for me to want to take over as ruler, playing God in my life when things are going well. "I got this Lord" thoughts kick in. I am learning thru CR though that if I want to stay on track with God I have to make communication with Him a daily & top priority. I cannot live on yesterday...

Have you had a few doors slam in your face? You know, where you were confident that this was the way you were supposed to go and then at the last second the door closes? Yeah me too. Can be a little embarrassing huh? I can remember in those times feeling so discouraged and feeling like, "God, what gives? I really thought this was Your plan for me but now..." It is in those times that I can allow "fear" to start creeping back in, paralyzing me from taking another step. Then, in fear ruling my life, I can forget that He still has a plan for me, it just looks different than I thought. I am learning thru CR that I don't have to live with fear or discouragement. "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, & of love, & of sound mind." 2Tim 1:7 So, even though a door closes on me in life, I don't need to become discouraged. Why? Because it may create some unnecessary fear that will prevent me later from walking with great confidence an...

Are u at your breaking point? Have you ever noticed that some of the most joyful, and genuinely happy people are those who have walked thru some of the toughest stuff? I am so blessed to have a front row seat to see this joy every Friday night at our CR. Some people have asked me, "wow, as many hurts as you see coming in on a Friday night, it must be a pretty heavy night huh?" Honestly, it is to the contrary. It is one of the most joyous nights. When hurting people, that have admitted their need come to the realization that they are at their breaking point, this is when the blessing begins. Sure there are tears, pain, hurt, but there is such healing in those tears. And in that surrendering process, so much blessing. The blessing is in the breaking. I am blessed that Christ picked me up out of my own junk and ignited my heart for life change. I learned thru CR that I don't have to wallow in my junk. Someone once said, "What can't be cured must be endured." Je...

"You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor."-Aristotle. As I was reading the serenity prayer last night at CR, that phrase, "God grant me....the "courage" to change the things I can...." Oh what courage it takes to take that first step doesn't it? I can remember being in some low places in my life and my knees literally felt like they were about to buckle under the pressure. Someone once said, "What is "not" started today is never finished." So true. I know today that if I had not used the courage and strength that Joshua speaks of, and lean into Him in the midst of my storm, even though the temptation is to turn and run, I would not have survived. In Luke 11 it gives me hope to know that if I "ask" for His help in having the courage to face life's battles, it will be given,. If I "seek" Him, I will find my Father cause He is waiting on me t...

This morning I was thinking about habits. I used to have some pretty crazy and destructive habits that brought much pain to myself and to others including my family. The word habit can seem like a dirty word but as I reflect on some new habits in my life, I realized that "habits" are good if they are the correct habits. Today I am so grateful for God giving me the strength to replace my destructive habits with new life changing habits. This life change was, is, and will only be possible if Christ is leading me. Someone once said,  “Habits are first cobwebs, then cables." Some of my past habits truly became cables that were wrapped around my neck and shoulders causing me to live in misery while I was drowning. Today, these new habits are cables connected to the Father. Today I have freedom. And though I am no where near perfect, I am seeking Him in faith as I continue this journey of life.  I don't know what you are battling today. I'm not sure what habits have a ...

"Yeah but...I don't think I can, what if I fail?" It is interesting how I can get so wrapped up in worrying about failing, not being good enough to complete a challenge, or not being strong enough. I was walking with one of my Sponsee's the others night and we were talking about his first run at a garden this year. He was telling me about his watermelon and tomato's. He said the surprising thing about it was the plants that started out looking so strong were the ones that produced the least amount of fruit. However his plants that he would have thought were never going to make it, the weakest, were the ones that soared. Wow! Isn't that what God does with us? I know He does with me. He is looking for me to not act like I am strong, and have it all together, but instead to admit I am weak so that He can make me strong thru Him. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." I need to remember this when I am battling these concerns of "what if I fail...

What are you addicted to? The truth is that we are all addicted to something. We know the obvious ones such as drugs, alcohol, sex, food. Some we don't think about is drama, bitterness, resentment, anger. It can feel so right to hold on to those things doesn't it? I know in my life I was a professional addict when it came to bitterness or resentment toward those who wronged me. Even as recent as yesterday I felt this rejection from a brother on a decision I made that proved to be a foolish mistake. I could feel myself getting angry cause this guy was basically saying, "I can't believe you could be so stupid". At least that was what I was hearing. Lol. In the past it felt so right to hold onto it and yet, little did I know it was destroying me like poison to my soul. When I live in this way, I am allowing the enemy to become a ruler in my heart. “Flies never visit an egg that has no crack." The best way to keep the flies away in my life and the Spirit present,...

There is an old ancient proverb that says: "If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed." Very true! In fact that was the story of my life. I was miserable as a husband and dad as a young man early in my marriage. I was not living a life for Christ and although I had stopped the drugs, was still drinking some in moderation to mask some deep wounds from my past. I was looking for happiness in things and people instead of the Father. As I reflected on my time with my son last night, it was humbling to think about what grace I have been given. There was no longer a little boy sitting across from me at the table at dinner, but a young man. I get overwhelmed to think about what could have been but then remember, I need to stay away from the would of, could of, should of's. The truth is, early as a dad, I was not what I should have been and though I was not drugging, I poured myself into ridiculous hours at work and that became my new coping s...

This morning I was talking with one of our Forever Family CR brothers and he was sharing with me about a sister that had come into their ministry. She was lost, and seeking a better hope and life. Our brother took the time to share the gospel with her and then led her to Christ. She received Christ and was then baptized in church the very next day, this past Sunday in fact. That in itself is enough to warm our hearts with great rejoicing. What you don’t know is that yesterday we received tough news that she was involved in a house fire and died. Wow! This hit me hard and really got me to thinking. Who is it I need to share with about His hope? It was Shakespeare that once said “Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.” I don’t know about you but I sure don’t want to be a minute late on something like this. As believers we know the importance on sharing with others and helping them to grow in their own faith. Reading in Colossians 2:6-7 this morning, “And now, just as you a...