Monday, April 9, 2012

Becoming an Easter Person

Growing up, I thought Easter was a one day event. I was raised attending a private church school and attending worship most Sundays. The teachings about Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday were taught and semi caught. It would be years (okay, I’ll be honest, decades) later that I came to realize Easter can last a life time, one day at a time.
Those decades that it took me to become an Easter person, which for me means more than a one day celebratory chocolate bunny and deviled egg eater, new outfit wearing, lily buyer were filled with my own crucifixion. They ultimately resulted in my own spiritual resurrection by the grace and love of Jesus as I laid down my sins and allowed His healing to bring me new life and recovery from my hurts, habits, and hang-ups. It wasn’t until I died to my own self will, indulgences and broken coping mechanisms that I could truly live. I became open to be broken. Little did I know how broken I already was.
As the oldest child growing up in an alcoholic divorced home set me on a path that while painful would eventually lead me to peace. I’ve experienced abuse, have an addiction, am codependent and bore the burden of fear, shame and guilt. Yet, I was the “strong one.” I was the person always in control, had the answers, and could be counted on to fix situations, solve a crisis and be “perfect.” I had to lead by example after all. I thought it was my duty to die to self, to put others before myself and sacrifice my voice, my happiness and well being for others. WRONG!
I relied on myself to handle what life brought my way. I thought I had to. I didn’t really believe I could trust anyone else. I felt abandoned, even by God. Until. . . . until, I took myself to my first Celebrate Recovery meeting. I went with a group of people with the idea of starting our own CR group to help others. You see, I didn’t help myself. Remember, I’m the “strong one.” That one meeting led to another one the next week, followed by another, another and another. I was hooked. Attending worship and open share allowed me to be with other people working on being real and getting healed (not my usual crowd.)
By admitting I was trying to be strong in myself, I realized I was really being weak. It was one of the first lessons I learned. I also learned that no matter how much I have messed up, I am forgiven. I learned I can let go of my past and for today truly live. I learned being resurrected, being raised from the dead is living Easter every day! Through the healing power of Jesus’ death on the cross, as a believer I can celebrate Easter more than one day a year. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2.
Happy Easter today and every day! Daphne

For information about Celebrate Recovery, contact Rodney at 479-659-3679 or roholmstrom@fellowshipnwa.org

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