Thursday, May 3, 2012

HE’S Doing It All Wrong

Just when I think I’m making progress on my journey and things are going smoothly, I trip. The difference now versus in the past is that I caught myself as I was headed down instead of totally falling hard with a splat! Actually, God caught me and I learned a lesson. The lesson being, MY WAY IS NOT THE RIGHT OR ONLY WAY. The following is my confession and lesson. My husband makes a power smoothie for breakfast every morning. It contains protein powder, milk, honey, peanut butter, frozen strawberries and a fresh banana. That combination is enough to make me gag. My nutritional training tells me he’s wasting protein. Funny thing, I don’t have to drink it so it doesn’t matter what I think. And to top that off, he didn’t ask for my opinion. Anyway, I’ve let go of the fact that I need to control his blender concoction. What I hadn’t let go of was the WAY he used the blender. You see our blender has two speeds plus an ice crusher. Upon inspection of his daily ritual, I realized he was using the ice crusher and then the blend button. Note, the recipe above does not contain ice. What was he doing?!?! The beat or puree button were clearly more reasonable options. So I ignored my inner voice to keep my mouth shut and dove in. “What are you doing? Why are you using the ice crushing button? You don’t have any ice in there.” His response was calm and clear. “I consider the frozen strawberries like ice cubes. It helps break them up and give me a more consistent smoothie.” Well, fine, if that’s what he’s really after- a smooth smoothie. I have found comfort in knowing I’m not the only person alive with control issues. Upon sharing and confessing my story with my sister, she too, had a story to share. You see for years her husband has stirred his coffee with a fork. Yes, a fork! Everybody knows forks are for spearing not stirring. What was he thinking? What kind of home was he raised in? Finally, one morning she snapped. She had to say something. “Why do you stir your coffee with a fork?” His reply, “It blends things better. The coffee flows through the tines as I stir.” Okay, we both admitted he has a point. Plus when he pulls the fork up out of the coffee, he has a couple minor of drips instead of the spoon blob when he lays down his utensil. Such seemingly insignificant situations can either teach big lessons or create big tensions. I’m grateful that now (after months of work and release) I am able to release control of more and more in my life. I thought the phrase, “Let go and let God” was for big stuff. I’ve come to realize that it includes the small stuff as well. It helps explain the phrase, “The devil’s in the details.” My character defect of the illusion of control is a long standing generational issue. But hey, I have a rebel spirit and am willing to break the cycle. My way is not the right or only way. I’ve stated it twice now. Please feel free to hold me accountable. Daphne- Another Changed Life For more information about Celebrate Recovery, contact Rodney at 479-659-3679 or roholmstrom@fellowshipnwa.org

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