“I'm a grateful believer in Jesus Christ.. and I’m in recovery from….2020?”
By Jamie Smith, Fellowship Bible Church Celebrate Recovery Devotional Team, 3/3/21
It was early March 2020, and my Step Study was just getting into the inventory. I admit, I was nervous. But then COVID-19 hit, and all of our lives got shut down for what most of us thought was going to be a couple of weeks.
Well, you all know what happened next. As many on social media
might say, 2020 happened. The pandemic, politics, and what seemed like so much
emotion, heartache, broken hearts, and just … tough stuff. Heart hurting stuff.
My Step Study group proceeded to meet via Zoom for “social
hour”. We didn’t do the steps; we just hung out
and talked. It helped us stay connected and, quite frankly, it provided a
weekly solace for each other.
Eventually, CR National figured out a way to allow online Step
Studies to meet, and we picked up where we left
off. We celebrated our Step Study completion in December when we finished!
Here’s the thing, and the reason I wanted to talk about this
on this blog. We took at least 6 months off from doing the study. When we
picked back up and were doing our introduction recovery statements, I realized
my whole world had changed to the point that I didn’t know what I was in
recovery for. I felt like I should start over with a whole new study with a
whole new recovery statement.
Why? I certainly hadn’t fully healed from the previous issues, but given what I learned about myself during those six
or seven months and all the angst that happened during that time, I felt like
the anger, fear, uncertainty, and all the other emotions (yes, even guilt) were
something that were more important. I also learned a lot about various issues
like co-dependency, which fits me to a “T”.
I realized I didn’t have to start over. I’m a work in progress, and that’s how recovery works.
I also realized that I need to recover from 2020. Not the year itself, but all that happened. I feel like it changed me, and not in all Godly, good ways. Does that make my recovery a failure? No. I see it as part of my ongoing inventory.
As I learn new ways I need to heal,
God is there to take me out of my denial, help me seek Him for healing, make
amends where I need to, and find peace.
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