Deep Calls to Deep
One time, when I was younger, I went out to spend some time at the lake with my friends. It was a beautiful day – blue skies, hot sun – perfect for some time on the water. Everyone else thought so too. We couldn’t go twenty seconds without seeing another boat.
Now, I was swimming in
the water, having the time of my life. Pretty soon, though, I was called back
to the boat for lunch. I turned back. In a second, the fun went away. I was much
farther away from the boat than I thought I was. As I paddled back, every wave
made by the jet skis and speedboats all around me seemed to push me further and
further away from the ladder hanging from that distant, floating sanctuary. I
was already tired, and I kept being push forward, backwards, sideways by the choppy
waves. I began to feel afraid, and embarrassed. The water got in my mouth, and
I wondered if I would drown. I just couldn’t make it to the boat. It felt
impossible.
I have felt that way recently
in my life. I see that I am further from being free from a habit than I thought
I was. An emotional wound shows itself to be much more tender than I thought it
was. I feel shame or embarrassment because of it. As I wrestle with trying to
force myself to be better, to heal faster, it feels as though I will never be
able to. No matter how hard I try, I’m never strong enough to carry myself to the
safety of the boat.
I know that I never
would have made it out of those rough waters into the boat on my own. But
someone jumped off the boat, grabbed me by my lifejacket, and carried me with
him to the ladder. Just as now, in my struggles, I can’t do it alone. But God
is steadfast beside me. Even though I do not have the power or resilience to
recover every time a struggle knocks me down, I have Jesus who does.
He is with me, and He will carry me back to His boat time and time again. He
carries me back through His Word. He carries me back through friends that I
have made while walking this journey toward recovery in Him. He carries me back
no matter what struggle or difficulty I have had today.
That fact comforts me
more than anything else ever could.
Psalm
42:7-11
Deep
calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
have gone over me.
By
day the LORD commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
I
say to God, my rock:
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As
with a deadly wound in my bones,
my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God?”
Why
are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.
Click HERE to listen to “Oceans” by Hillsong United
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