Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Double Dipping




What is Double Dipping? One of my biggest pet peeves when dining out or with friends in an eating setting is when they dip their chip into the salsa or cheese dip, take a bite, and then dip it back in the dip again. {gag}



I am pretty picky about my food and this really gross' me out. Some people make fun of me at my expense about this issue I have, but I really get grossed out when this happens and will even refrain from eating any more chips if I witness this repulsive act. lol

But that is not the kind of double dipping I am referring to. "Double Dipping" in a CR Open Discussion Group setting is when a particular person shares more than one time in a certain small group setting.

Why is this not allowed in the Open Discussion Groups? What if the group is small? Doesn't it improve the small group to allow multiple sharing?

All great questions! Here are a couple of reasons why we should not allow this in our Open Discussion groups

1. Double Dipping can cause opportunities for people to try to "fix" others after listening to their sharing. Sometimes without even realizing it we think "oh, I know what I can share that will lead "them" down the right path" and so we share and it is all directed toward one person. Now, one can make an argument that people could do that anyway. True, and hopefully our well trained leaders will nip this quickly, but the chances increase when people go a second time.

2. Our small group guideline is "Keep our sharing to 3-5 minutes not "3-5 minutes, 2 or 3 times". There is a reason we have 3-5 minutes on each person's sharing. It teaches us to get our thoughts organized and not ramble. This is an important component in recovery. When we know we have 3-5 minutes we will give it some thought before we speak and speak to the point more precisely.

3. Sharing only one time will allow everyone the opportunity to share that chooses to.


Granted, in some of our small groups there will possibly only be 3-4 people in the group. That is ok. The best thing you can do as a group is shut down the group early and go to Solid Rock and continue your conversation there.

-Some people think it's crazy for us to have a guideline like this or think it is silly to have others like, we cannot hand a tissue to someone else when they are crying. (I thought that was the craziest thing I ever heard when I first came in until I found out "why" we do that. We don't want to interrupt the sharing of anyone. Handing a tissue does just that. Or, to only use I or me statements. Then I learned that when someone says for example, "we all want this..." I know now that I really don't want you or anyone else speaking for me. How do you know what I want or need? :)

The truth is, there are actually very good reasons behind these guidelines and 20 plus years experience that has lead us to use these guidelines. They may seem crazy and not necessary, but the truth is, they actually do work.

One of the things I have said and continue to say in trainings with our great CR leaders is we don't expect everyone to agree with everything we do in CR. The thing we do ask though is that you please respect them. I have to trust those that went before me in this great ministry and know that if the guideline is there, it is there for a good reason and for my safety and recovery.


We want this 3-5 minutes to be yours to share to your liking as long as the guidelines are being upheld.

a. maybe a victory or struggle from this past week

b. Maybe you choose to share from the focus question presented

c. Maybe there is something in the Problem and Solution Sheet that spoke

to you

d. Maybe there is something that the Holy Spirit Spoke to your heart

about during the teaching or testimony that night.

Bottom line, whatever you want to share on is fine just make sure you do it within your time frame allotted.

So....the next time you go into an open discussion group during your regular meeting night and your leader asks you to not share again, you will know that they are not being mean or picking on you but rather, doing their part in keeping the group safe and productive. This is to ultimately set the table for you to experience God's healing and freedom all in the setting of a safe group.

As always, thank you for honoring these guidelines and for being right where God has you. You are blessing so many by your presence not to mention bringing continued healing to yourself each time you share.

Just like the song says. Greater Things Are Still To Come In This City" Greater things are still to come in this "meeting"...

Have a blessed day


Happy "one" sharing....:)



For more information about CR contact Rodney Holmstrom,


NW Arkansas State Rep

National Assimilation Coach

8 comments:

  1. awesome way to put it!! a whole new meaning to "double dipping"....the way i knew double dipping was a drug term for PCP so...... I love my new and improved meaning for CR!! I love it! Thank you for sharing the wisdom!

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  2. I praise God for the rules of CR coming from years of traditional recovery. I thank God for his standard being up held by the guidelines set forth by the founders of CR.

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  3. Well said, Rodney. In light of Jesus' parable of the talents (Matt. 25), it is possible that a group that allows double dips or sharing more than 5 minutes may remain small because the leader can't be trusted with more. Jesus tells in His parable that the Master was looking for those who faithfully did their task. Perhaps God is more concerned about the safety of these precious people and won't send them to a group with looser standards. It's best to do things the right way, even with just two people there, as preparation for the group growing. Do it right as a way of showing God that you are faithful and can be trusted to keep a larger group safe.

    Also in a practical sense, allowing extra sharing conditions the group in such a way that it becomes hard to change when a group grows. What if a group who runs 3 people suddenly swells to 12? Those who are used to double dips or more than 5 minutes will have a hard time adjusting. Better to prepare them for expected growth.

    Rusty Miller, PA State Rep

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  4. YUkk on the "food"double dipping too! As for the 3-5 min guideline? I am very thankful for that being one of the first bits of structure in my life. It allows me to seek out just what I'm feeling and needing to share. Just for today. Thanks Celebrate Recovery Bechtelsville Pa for following the DNA. KRoman

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  5. Thank you. This is something I will share at our next leader's meeting. We need this structure in our groups. It helps with my insecurities in leading a group to be able to say.. "But these are the CR Guidelines."

    Donna Vernier

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  6. Thank you so much for this information. Our CR has undergone some changes at the top and when I saw this I was really excited to see how things change for us. We had obviouly been trying to "reinvent the wheel" just aiming at getting our participants/leaders to share on what really mattered not just the grocery store issues! And through you, this the Lord has brought us. I brought it up to our TEAM and after a month's practice, the leaders will be implementing it this Friday. It will be hard, we hate change, but we are confident God is in it.
    Thanks for being used by Him.
    faithfully held,
    Ytha

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  7. Thank you so much for this blog. This is the first time that I realized that we all only get one share. I guess its a case of the original CR leaders of our group interpreting the guidelines one way, opps and as a subsequent leader I have followed that tradition and didn't pick up that I also had interpreted the rules inaccurately. I'm looking forward to more time at the cafe.

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  8. As of April 2014 tthis is still an active subject in the FB CR A Coaches closed group. Thanks for publishing this Rodney!

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