A few months ago, I picked up two more Celebrate Recovery chips. One was a 30-day chip for my original issue and the other was for a secondary issue that I discovered in my life during the initial stages of my recovery.
I choose to keep my CR chips on my key chain, both as a reminder but also, quite frankly, so I don't lose them. When I tried to put these two new chips on my chain, they simply wouldn't go on. I started to feel a small amount of despair but I was determined to keep the chips and keep them in that spot. That's when I started analyzing why they wouldn't go on. It wasn't because I couldn't figure it out, it was because I had too many things on the chain.
So I started looking at what all I had on there. What I found surprised me. I had: two keys to where I used to live; a key to my parents' house two states away (that don’t even work anymore because the locks have been changed); a key to some friends’ house that again, don’t work because they have recently changed the locks; one key to where we live now, two keys to a master lock, a key to my old mailbox and my car key. WHEW! I started evaluating what I really needed or didn't need. At first I just took off the key to my old place that I knew for sure was for that apartment (the other key I was pretty sure was for that apartment but I waited to test it at my new place to make sure it wasn’t for the new back door).
The chips still didn't fit.
So I looked at the keychain more closely. That's when it hit me. I don't need the key to my friends’ house because for one thing, it doesn’t even work. But quite frankly, part of my recovery has involved greatly loosening the ties I have with them so having a key to their home no longer seemed appropriate. So I took that off. I then saw the key to my parents’ house and thought, why keep a key to a house that I only visit once a year? So I took off that key. The other keys to my old apartment were easy so I took them off too.
I looked at what I had in my hand and somehow it all became symbolic to me. In my hand I was holding keys to the past. Keys to a past where many good things happened, but also many painful things. By holding on to those specific pasts, I was holding on to the pain.
So I threw them away. All of them. The only keys that are on my keychain now are for our current home, my car and the master lock.
Oh, and now not only is my keychain a ton lighter, all my recovery chips fit just fine...with room for more.