By Sarah Bryant, Devotional Team writer at Fellowship Bible Church, Rogers, Celebrate Recovery, 11/18/20
Every
year at work in mid-November we have what’s called open enrollment. That means
it’s the one time of the year to opt in or out of various benefits – medical,
dental, etc. This year I decided it might be a good idea to apply for short and
long term disability insurance. Just for a little peace of mind in case I would
be unable to work for some reason.
Evidence
of Insurability, that’s the goal when applying for these benefits. Basically,
the insurance provider wants to see that I don’t have problems, or if I did,
that they were fixed. Well, the process of applying wasn’t as easy as I
thought. There were checklists of diseases to go through, lists of medications
to provide, and near the bottom came a section where I had to list anything I’d
received medical treatment for in the last five years. In this section I had to
describe the problems and when they began. One of the items on my list was
anxiety, panic attacks, and depression, which was obvious by the prescription
list I was required to provide. Then I stopped as I saw what was next…there was
a calendar where I had to choose the “Date of Recovery.” There was no other
option, no open blank to write out an explanation, just a calendar staring back
at me. I quickly became very discouraged, since I’m not “recovered” yet, and it
didn’t leave me with high hopes for my insurability. If there’s something on my
list that I haven’t “recovered” from, then I more than likely won’t be insured
for that. No one want’s someone with problems.
But
as I finished the form and hit submit, I started to feel a little better as I
began to think about where my real peace of mind comes from and what I know to
be the truth of recovery. That truth I know is that in anxiety, panic attacks, depression,
or anything else I come into CR with there’s likely not going to be a “Date of
Recovery,” a date that I can circle on the calendar as the day when I was cured. That’s why there’s not a final
chip, right? “Who’s got nine months?...Who’s got one year or more?...Who’s
cured?” I don’t remember hearing that last one being called out on Friday
nights. That’s because there’s not some multi-colored chip I’m striving for
that I’ll pick up and never struggle again. No, in fact, the dates I have circled
on my calendar are my blue chip dates. Those are the important ones. The days
when I admitted I had a problem and the only
way to start addressing it was with God. Those days mark the beginning of a
life-long, life-changing journey, not some finish line of being cured.
I’m
human, I struggle physically, mentally, and emotionally, and God knows that.
The most important thing I can do is to invite Him into those struggles. He
knows my list of hurts, habits, and hang ups. He’s reviewed my Evidence of
Insurability…and guess what? He’s still willing to insure me. There’s nothing
on my list that will ever disqualify me from the eternal salvation He offers
through His Son, and that is all the peace of mind I need.
God
is powerful. I could wake up tomorrow fully cured, no more anxiety, panic
attacks, or depression. But if for reasons beyond my understanding He wants me
to continue to walk in this with Him, then I believe He will give me the
strength to do it one day at a time.
I
may never have a specific “Date of Recovery” to circle on my calendar until He either
takes me to be with Him or He decides to come back to dwell with us, but that
doesn’t change the peace of mind I have in knowing that my security comes from
Him alone, and He will never drop my insurance coverage.
“But
in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I
am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor
things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any
other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in
Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:37-39
Click HERE to listen to "Nothing Ever Could Separate Us" by Citizen Way
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